worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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