He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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