I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Are my feet made of real feet?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
