they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Randomize
