Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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