I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
