his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
