idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize