i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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