just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
