Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
