once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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