Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
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So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.