Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.