what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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