arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am one with the molecules
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
