I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.