there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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