Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize