I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
What a dumb baby whore.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
