what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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