Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
3 2 1 whiskey
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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