I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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