I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
