love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
