I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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