They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
