fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
