Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
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just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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