So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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