My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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