I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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