do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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