Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
