So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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