Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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