my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
