u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
