I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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