Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize