Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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