he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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