you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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