Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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