She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
