Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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