i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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