I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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