I puked a lego.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
