I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
