ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
