After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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