Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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