How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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