The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
