Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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