is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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