a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
