I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
