let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
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I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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