"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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