He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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