If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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