youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
ttyl tear gas
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
