no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
