He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.