my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.