so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts