i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.