is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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